I had my review on Tuesday evening with my oncologist. An "interim review" it's called. Sounds like something that would happen at work. What are the objectives and how and I getting along with delivering them? I was more than ready for this meeting. From my end of the telescope all I've had in the last three months is a diagnosis of cancer that's incurable, the report of a collapsed lung and a prognosis of 6 months to live, maybe 12 months tops. Whilst I've committed to fight it and beat the prognosis I've had no feedback on whether or not the fight is paying off. So it would be an understatement to say I'm in real need of some feedback, anything at all really, but hopefully something positive.

I was still in the process of sitting down when he said there was good news. When you're dying it's amazing how a short utterance from the right person can turn your week around. The doc got straight to it... my tumours have shrunk by around an average of 30% and my lung, which had collapsed, has re-inflated. We talk for awhile about side effects issues and focus in on the feeling sick in the week or so after a chemo treatment. We're going to try a different approach to the anti-emetics this time to see if there is a better way for my stomach to settle down. The doc talks about the number of chemo sessions. Given my responsiveness to the first two chemo sessions he confirms that we will do four sessions but he says he's thinking about going for the six sessions which would be the maximum in this phase. He says we will look at this again when we review after the fourth session. I push him on the prognosis. He's cagey and cautious, as I have come to expect. If I'm honest I'm disappointed with what he says next. We started with a prognosis on 6 to 12 months. He says now that his best estimate is 9 to 12 months and he would err on the high side of that estimate. Given that we've moved three months along his original prognosis then I think I've added just 6 months to his estimate. I was hoping I'd extended it out to 2 years or at least 18 months. I plan to defy the odds of his prognosis anyway, but I'd have like to have heard something more optimistic from him. On this basis I should comfortably get to my 50th birthday. Put the date in your diary, I plan to have a celebration!

SIDENOTE - Interestingly the news today is that the Lockerbie bomber has survived 4 times the prognosis he was given when he was released. If he can do it....

I admit I punched the air as I left the doctors office. A bit childish of me, but what the hell. I was due some good news and something to go my way for a change. And that was, in the great scheme of things, very good news for me. We went to the American Diner on the way home and I had a fillet steak for dinner. I had chips and fried eggs as the sides and I polished most of it away. The biggest and probably tastiest meal I've had in several weeks. It was a nice treat.

I'm definitely in the sweet spot between chemo sessions. My two chemo sessions so far have been on a Thursday. They start at 8:30am and I get discharged at around 8:30 am on the Friday morning. Having been awake for most of the 24 hours, like anyone I'm pretty wiped out on the Friday. Saturday is generally a good day and the slide into fatigue starts sometime on the Sunday. It's then a case of seven to fourteen days recovering from the fatigue. So the next sweet spot should be sometime around the 2nd September going through to the 9th of September, which will probably be my fourth chemo session, all things being equal.

The iPad continues to be a saviour. I've discovered a bit of software called calibre - it's a book management system. It's advantage is that it can convert most e-book formats into the epub format needed for the iPad book reader. Between that and the Kindle app I'm all set with books to read for months to come.

For music discovery apps I am thoroughly convinced that Soundhound is the way to go on the iPad in the the UK. I think Pandora is the best app in this category but it's not available in the UK for licensing reasons. It is theoretically possible to get Pandora on your laptop if you fake your IP as being USA based but that's quite technical and messy. I do hope they can sort this out soon because I've definitely had the best results in discovering new artists that I like using Pandora. With Soundhound it's been more a case of finding someone I know but have forgotten about. That said I do rate it higher than Shazam. My other favourite music app is WunderRadio - which makes it easy to listen to almost any radio station in the world. Apart from the obvious - listening to breakfast radio in the UK - I have found it useful to listen to comedy stations in the US broadcasting standup comedy. The quality of the comedy ranges from good to bad to great - but in the main it's been a great pick me up when I'm feeling a bit blue.

UPDATE: It's Friday morning and I've made it through chemo session 3. It's about 5:45am and the last bag of drugs has just gone through, the cannula has been removed and I'm polishing off a nice cup of tea. I've slept the best I've slept at a chemo session, at least seven hours although it's been broken by bag changes for the chemo drugs. So today might be a good day, given that I'm on high doses of various pick me ups today and tomorrow. This won't stop the fatigue hitting me Sunday, but means there is a chance I get a reasonable weekend. Leisa will pick me up at 8:30-ish and we won't have to hang around for anything - my discharge pill bag was given to me yesterday so there's nothing to wait for. I guess we've got quite skilled at planning for the chemo sessions now that we know how they work. It also pays to be a bit assertive with the knowledge you gain from previous sessions. My personal example is that there's no reason to stay hooked up to the drip once your last bag of drugs has gone through. Sometimes the nurses can be reluctant, and want you to stay hooked up until the morning, but there doesn't seem to be a sound medical reason for it and the sooner the needle comes out, in my opinion, the better. Getting back the freedom of movement is just great - when you're hooked up even going to the toilet is a drag as you have to disconnect the stand from the mains, drag the stand with you to the loo, at the toilet you're basically one handed, and then you have to drag it all back to the bed, untangle it from the movement, and connect back to the power, finally settling yourself down in the chair or bed hoping you haven't put a kink in the line and set off the alarm which means calling for a nurse to sort it out. It's a pain at the best of times. There's also an underlying feeling of discomfort where the needle goes into the vein on the back of the hand. Whilst not painful, it's a sensation you feel like you want to get rid of as soon as possible, hence the need to assert yourself and get the needle out asap.

It was great to receive calls yesterday, although I missed a couple whilst napping that I will try and return today. I get the sense that some are worried about ringing me because they've heard how much the chemo takes out of me. Which is true, but no one should worry about that, it's great to get a call and to stay in touch with everyone. If I'm napping because of the fatigue then the phone will be off or at least silent, so leave a voicemail and I'll get back to you when I'm wake enough to hold a conversation. If I'm awake then I'll take the call. The calls are a great pick me up and I am positively glad to hear what's going on where you are. Whilst we probably can't avoid me updating you on the diagnosis, prognosis and what's been happening with my treatment I want to hear, very much, about what's going on in the outside world. Whilst I'm not up to much on the work front I still have my mind and when I'm not in the grip of the fatigue then I need some measure of mental stimulation. So I've been helping with some social media stuff and some powerpoint. I know now that had I reached retirement age I'd find giving up the mental stimulation, the involvement and the contact with a wide range of views a real challenge. If I have a comment to leave behind about work, it is that it's all about the people. The important challenge for those who lead is to create an environment where people feel willing to contribute their best. I've worked in some pretty awful environments but I've also had the privilege to spend most of my time in some really wonderful environments with good people. I've been particularly blessed to have had some great mentors in my time, sadly mentoring seems less prevalent these days than it did when I first set out into the world of work. I'm in the best environment I've ever been in, I work for a really great company and I have some really great colleagues. Sadly, from contacts outside that environment, I read about and hear stories quite regularly about poor behaviour at work, which inevitably leads to people being unsettled, it causes silos to spring up, unnecessary strife between teams, arguments, and it draws managerial time away from what should be a shared endeavour to be appropriately customer focused and concentrating on building shareholder value towards inwardly focused issues such a re-organisations which are generally attempts to re-arrange the deck chairs on a sinking ship as best as possible designing out the internal flaws and attempting to put focus back on the external, where it belongs. OK, enough, rant over... although my serious point relates back to social media and recruitment. Whilst I'm on the side of those who argue you miss the boat if you fail to get involved I also have to point out that like any technology it's an enabler and at the end of the day recruitment remains all about the people. The best and most successful recruiters will be those who embrace new technology for what it can do for them, but also have the skills which enable them to build relationships with clients and candidates, the ability to sell, and the ability to develop business from the various contacts they make on a daily basis. And that's my thought for the day.

Sent from my iPad